Tunnel Vision: An Honest-to-Goodness Traffic Rant

By Brendan O'Hallarn Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I’m sitting here at my computer, and can barely type because my fingers are still trembling with rage.

Indulge me with this rant. Regular readers of Tunnel Vision know that I’m pretty philosophical about traffic jams, and spend most of my time in the column poking fun at my own foibles.

Today, I do not feel like laughing.

So far this week, three of my four commutes have stretched to two hours.

My house to Old Dominion University is a drive that takes 45 minutes when there’s no traffic on the road. The cause of three separate traffic nightmares? A single stalled car each time.

Monday morning, it was a car broken down INSIDE the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel. Traffic was backed up to the Hampton Coliseum. That afternoon, some sucker got a flat PRECISELY at always-busy Fort Eustis, backing up traffic all the way to Jefferson.

Then today, some poor fool was stalled, flashers flashing, in the MIDDLE LANE where 4th View Street spills onto I-64 in Norfolk. I waded through five miles of stop-and-go traffic to get past that sticky mess.

I admit, you couldn’t have placed three cars in better spots if you wanted to foul up the rush hour commute. But there’s NO FREAKING WAY a single stalled car should add an hour to your commute.

At the blog SmartRegion.org, the Hampton Roads Partnership posts guest columns by executives and lawmakers offering earnest suggestions on what can be done to help the “driving economic force” of transportation in the region.

In this space, I’ve devoted tons of words to people who are attempting to figure out how to make traffic better in Hampton Roads – whether it’s workplace managers allowing for telecommuting, or advocates pushing for high-speed rail.

On Thursday, there’s a breakfast meeting at Thomas Nelson Community College to discuss the state of transportation in the region. Clearly, some people are trying.

I guess days like the last two make me think it’s hopeless.

And then there’s this. The Commonwealth Transportation Board is considering stripping the funds slated for interstate construction in the region this year, because of the state’s budget crunch. AT THE SAME MEETING the Board will receive its final report into the failure that caused the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel closure on July 2.

I’ve been writing Tunnel Vision for 10 months. Obviously, I have no answers to the congestion that’s plaguing this region. My only remedy is black humor.

But collectively, as this region continues to grow, reluctance remains to invest in rapid transit, road reconstruction, carpooling, shift flexibility or anything else that might save us from a looming CRISIS on our roads.

My job depends on being able to successfully take my car to the south side of Hampton Roads, four days a week, at rush hour. Clearly, I’m not alone.

If three cars can cause three nightmare commutes in three days, what other traffic madness awaits us, with more cars pouring over our crumbling infrastructure every single day?

Got any ideas? Let’s hear ‘em. Because we’re all in this together.

Brendan O’Hallarn writes Tunnel Vision every Wednesday for WYDaily, and usually he’s not this ticked off. Please excuse him. He’ll be back with his usual assortment of corny jokes next week. Got a thought? Write him at brendan@wydaily.com.