VIDEO: Military Mother Remembers Fallen Son in Painting Exhibit

By Amber Lester Kennedy Monday, September 12, 2011

The College of William and Mary held a candlelight service Sunday to honor alum Lt. Todd Weaver, after which the Weaver family celebrated the establishment of a study abroad scholarship named in Weaver's honor. (Photo courtesy of Stephen Salpukas, W&M).

He had seen his country attacked, and like so many young men before him, he felt a call to defend. His mother, Jeanne, remembers that she could see the anger in his body. She knew her youngest son wouldn’t wait to fight; the star football player joined the National Guard that year.

One year ago, on Sept. 9, an unfamiliar man in a military uniform appeared on Jeanne’s doorstep. She saw the figure at the door and knew immediately he was there to tell her Todd had been killed. Images flashed through her mind – a portrait of young Todd, laughing; the blue star flag that hung in her window to show she had a son serving in Afghanistan; the portrait of her great-uncle, a first lieutenant killed by a land mine in Italy in 1944. It is that moment she has rendered in oil paint.

In the year that’s passed since Todd’s death, Jeanne has sought solace facing blank canvases, paintbrushes in hand. She worked forty hours a week, starting in January, to complete the 17 paintings that make up “Losing Todd: A Mother’s Journey,” an exhibit on display at the Muscarelle Museum Annex at the William and Mary Sadler Center until Oct. 23.

In his 26 years, Todd toured the world, studied abroad, served in Iraq, joined the Army ROTC at William and Mary, earned a degree in government and graduated with honors. He married, became a father and chose to return to war, this time to Afghanistan.

Todd died Sept. 9 in Kandahar, Afghanistan when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 320th Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) at Fort Campbell, Ky. He is survived by his wife, Emma, his daughter, Kiley, his parents, Donn and Jeanne, sisters Adriana and Kristina and brother Glenn.

Todd was a self-possessed, confident child who could win over anyone, Jeanne says. Donn’s government work took the family around the world, living in exotic locales like Nigeria and Hungary. In her eulogy, quoted beside a painting of young Todd in the exhibit, Kristina remembered that he had the idea to fill their red wagon with cans of commissary food and toys and push it beyond the gate of their home, as an offering to the children who had so little in comparison. They became his friends.

In the months since he died, Jeanne says everyone who has contacted her to share remembrances of Todd has said, “Todd was my best friend.” “He just had that quality,” she says.

In the first days and weeks after his death, she couldn’t bring herself to paint. She took up painting six years ago, usually dabbing oil paint to form vistas of the ocean. Almost immediately after she lost Todd, Jeanne knew she would need to express what she was feeling through art. “I had a strong desire to express and communicate what happens to a family who loses someone in the military,” she says.

She didn’t try to paint until just after Christmas, when she and Donn went to stay at their vacation home in Florida. She established a routine: wake up, go for a walk on the beach with Todd’s Siberian Husky, then paint for the rest of the day. She would listen to the music Todd played during his last visit, songs like “Chicken Fried” by Zac Brown Band. “I only stopped for two things – family get-togethers and get-togethers honoring Todd,” she said.

She referenced photographs and objects for some of the paintings, such as a striking series of still lifes showing his red baby shoes, his well-worn football cleats and his combat boots. But some paintings were summoned from her memory, such as “Dover.” The painting shows a casket, beginning the descent from an airplane’s cargo bay at Dover Air Force Base.

The day was rainy and gray, but when they arrived at the base, the rain stopped and Jeanne felt warmth. She looked into the sky, and saw three perfect clouds. She felt peace, and wanted to convey that peace in her painting.

The paintings were her therapy, and exist as a visual journal of the past year. She hopes the students who pass by the paintings every day will get a sense of the man who once walked in their footsteps. “We are just such a fast-paced society…we don’t give ourselves time to grieve. We’re supposed to get over things right away,” she says. “I hope they’ll stand back and smell the roses, even if it’s roses of grief.”

The campus of William and Mary will remember Sept. 11 and Todd at 4 p.m. today, when the college’s ROTC cadets will lead a “ruck march” through the campus, beginning in the parking lot of Morton Hall. The Army soldiers will wear heavy backpacks containing their gear; the campus community is invited to participate and wear backpacks simulating what the cadets will wear.

The march will conclude near the Wren Building around 4:45 p.m. There, a mock plaque created in honor of Todd will be unveiled. At 7:45 p.m., a candlelight vigil will be held at a tree that was planted in his honor last year, left of the Brafferton Building. John McGlennon, chair of the government department, will read the proclamation of the scholarship dedicated to Todd at the ceremony.

With help from the campus community, including the Student Athletic Advisory Council, the family completed a successful fundraising campaign to create a memorial fund. The fund will provide opportunities for William and Mary students to study abroad, just as Todd did one year in Russia. It has been endowed, and will be awarded in perpetuity. The first student to receive the scholarship will be announced during Homecoming.